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The "V" word

Tomorrow is Valentines Day. 

Let's take a moment to reflect on what that means. 

What it DOESN'T mean is Singles Appreciation Day.  I have exactly zero sympathy for single folks who use Valentine's Day as an excuse to curl up and cry and write bad poetry and cut themselves. 

Valentine's Day is (in contemporary culture, anyway) a celebration of love.  An expression of joy for what we have.  To turn it into a lament about what we are missing is a gross and twisted bastardization.  Love comes in a million different forms and can be found in a million different places. 

Yet we, in part because of Hallmark, choose to focus entirely (or at least primarily) on the one tiny subset of the concept that is shared by "lovers." 

We as a culture are very interested in, to the point of obsession, the things we DON'T have.  It is a part of us that I never really understood, even as I catch myself doing it more often than I'd like. 

If you are single, and reading this, ask yourself.  Why am I making myself so miserable when there is so much love all around me?  Why should I spend my time mourning over what I do not have?  Valentine's Day is for everyone.  Not just couples, not just groups of friends who band together to protest the holiday.  EVERYONE. 

Give a rose to a complete stranger.  Call friends or family you haven't talked to in a while.  Pet a puppy.  Strike up a conversation with a wrong number.  Do whatever it takes to promote love and joy in your life and the lives of others. 

That is what Valentine's Day is all about. 


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 13th, 2009 10:19 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, but your recent posts on this community have all been really personal LJ. They don't have anything to do with Sonoma State and it's kind of offensive to have your personal philosophies all over my friends page when I don't even know you. How people choose to feel about a holiday, one that can cause them a lot of frustration because it reminds them of certain circumstances in their life, is none of your business. If you want to tell your friends list your philosophies on the holiday, that's one thing, but there's no need to preach about it on here, particularly in a way that doesn't make it specifically relevant to Sonoma State.

Despite your suggestion that all singles hate the holiday and use it as an excuse to write bad poetry, I actually don't have a problem with Valentine's Day. I am at a stage in my life where I would much rather be single and have time to myself, even if it means that I don't get flowers on V-Day. But I didn't always feel that way, and I know a lot of people don't.

I understand that you're trying to put a positive spin on a holiday that has a lot of negative connotations, but the condescending manner with which you are doing so is not going to win you a lot of support. And making fun of cutting is really not appropriate. If someone's a cutter, they're going to do it on other days than Valentines, and probably not just because they're single. They likely have a serious condition that deserves help and support, not mockery.
Feb. 14th, 2009 12:16 am (UTC)
Firstly, this is a public forum. I apologize if you don't wish to read my opinions, but the user info specifically states the topic of "issues that College Students have to deal with."

Admittedly some of my past posts have deviated from that, but I think Valentines day is a very real and very relevant topic.

I am not implying that ALL singles do anything. I try to stay away from such generalities. If you'll note, my entire post is about trying to convince others to promote joy and love. I'm sorry if you find that offensive, but not sorry enough to stop writing about things I feel are important.

I do appreciate the constructive criticism that my sarcasm is not being well received and will do my best to tone it down in the future.
Feb. 14th, 2009 12:19 am (UTC)
One further note: I have received a lot of positive feedback for my pasts posts on this community. However, I will, in the future, hide them behind LJ cuts so that they are easier to ignore if that is your wish.

Fair enough?
Feb. 14th, 2009 12:50 am (UTC)
"issues that College Students have to deal with."

Yet you graduated three years ago.
Feb. 13th, 2009 11:10 pm (UTC)
Get off your soap box.
Feb. 14th, 2009 12:16 am (UTC)
I should get a soap box. Do they still make the old wooden ones?
Feb. 14th, 2009 06:07 am (UTC)
OH! Iseewhatyoudidthere! Cute.
Feb. 14th, 2009 07:38 am (UTC)
This post had the opposite of its intended effect on me. I've never not been single on Valentine's Day, and in the past I've angsted about it, but this year I was intending to just ignore it and not let it get me down. This post made me reflect about the fact that I am single and that made me a little sad.
Feb. 14th, 2009 08:39 am (UTC)
Oh, give me a break. Valentine's Day is a hallmark holiday and no one should have a holiday creared by the GREETING CARD company tell them to sit back, reflect on what they have, and feel all mushy and lovey dovey. Valentine's Day is a joke.

I am single this year, but I have always had this same stance, even when I am in a relationship when this "holiday" rolls around. If someone loves me, they shouldn't feel obligated to tell me that because some "holiday" tells them they should. If they love me, I want to be shown that on some idle Tuesday because they WANT me to know, not on a specific day because they think they HAVE to.

Everyday can be a "celebration of love" and you shouldn't need some stupid made-up holiday to tell you to celebrate the things you have. If you really need Valentine's Day to tell you to reflect on what you love, it is a sad state and perhaps you need to reassess your values. I'm thankful everyday. Perhaps you should get off your soapbox and stop telling others how THEY should feel about February 14th.

Feb. 14th, 2009 09:30 am (UTC)
Must say I really didn't see these comments coming when I clicked on the link. Basically just tons of negativity...whatev, I actually enjoy reading other people's opinions even when I don't agree with them. So...I say keep on posting. I also think it is a silly implication that because you have graduated means you shouldn't be allowed to discuss issues relating to college students or Sonoma State. That said, I also think it is a good idea to post behind LJ Cuts.

Regarding Valentine's Day...just thought I would share that every French person I speak to is totally against the holiday or is completely indifferent. I barely see anything for it in the stores.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )


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